Christians are straight up FREAKS
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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