Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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