thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
