I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
