Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize