also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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