We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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