she was so not down for the gang bang
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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