Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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