yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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