Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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