yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish I only lived at night.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
