Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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