Sry I called you an 8
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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