Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize