North Korea, Best Korea!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
