You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
