MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
