i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
