Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
someone owes me an orgasm
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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