If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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