Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
