May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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