I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
