Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize