dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
