Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
