Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
