Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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