doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
