He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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