i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Im part way to drunk.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
