We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
