So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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