My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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