Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
