And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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