i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
