just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
