Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
