i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
