I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize