They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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