I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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