Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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