Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
