We're facebook friends in real life
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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