yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
