He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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