i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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