Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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