Whod you bang
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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