This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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