What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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