How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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