hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
