I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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